I'm sorry I wasn’t good enough.
I'm sorry I am not good enough.
I'm sorry for what I did.
I'm sorry for everything I have done wrong.
There are some things which I can never budge on--for instance, my belief that my fiancé deserves to live life, and that it’s okay for me and them to build a life together.
I can never be convinced letting my fiancé die when they were simply a friend was better than what I did, by showing them empathy and love and sticking by them.
And in that set-in-my-ways decision, I am sorry. I know that my choice there carries consequences. It’s not something simple.
But I am truly sorry. I mean it. I still messed up in badly harmful ways.
I'm sorry for all the hurt I have caused.
I really, truly am.
I don’t know how to prove I'm sorry with actions rather than just words, but I will try my utmost to love and live by the standard of empathy, healing, positivity, and joy, to show what I value and who I am.
When it comes down to it, I don’t really have any actions to my name and never will. As a child of the internet, all of me is defined by my words. So, I carry the responsibility of wielding those words with the care they deserve.
I have had my failures there, but I vow to do better and use my words elevate. Words are all I have to offer, so I bear the responsibility of making sure said words are uplifting. I promise to use my one gift for the betterment of all in my life. Both past, present, and future.
I am taking a vow to not speak ill of any in my life, past or future. (Well, there MIGHT be one exception, but that individual is genuinely psychopathic, and even then, I would only speak ill of them when in the context of educating. I don’t even like speaking ill of them, despite what they did.)
I promise to see the best in others, and while I can acknowledge a viewpoint, a perspective, which judges them as well as understanding how two people can be bad for each other and it's best they remain apart, I will never judge anyone in that negative light.
I know the consequences of a negative spiral of opinion revolving around an individual, and having seen the damage firsthand from that mindset, I vow never to repeat that mistake.
The world is filled with more good than bad--and I swear to elevate people so they can see that, in all aspects of their life.
I'm no Saint. I have my shortcomings, both past and present. I'm sure to have flaws in the future, too.
But I promise to, within my capacities, stay true to this path. I hope that is good enough for others. If not, then I am truly sorry.
Life is filled with too many wonders to forget. I just hope whoever eventually reads this can see the beauty in everything that I do. Especially yourself. <3
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