Basically, a thought came to me as I was on the way back from work, and I remembered something I had long-since forgotten.
Ever since I've been on the internet, I've had a dream I've wanted to pursue. I wanted to have all my writings online, for free--but to have people give the option to pay for them. To pay what they want, but to have it available for free. Maybe available for free online, but available in hardcover for a price to have a physical copy of it.
That was the dream.
And since then, it has never died.
It has only been evolved to include more than just my stories.
All of my songs.
All of my content creation ideas--videos I have in mind.
Comics.
Art.
Videos.
Dances.
Photos.
Spirituality.
And, yes, my writing as well.
Yet...the dream, the idea, remains the same.
I have the same dream, just on a broader scale.
I want to have my ideas shared with the world, and for people to pay whatever they can to support me. Maybe just to support me, but also potentially getting something extra out of having done so. Me sharing things I normally wouldn't, being paygated. But me still sharing everything I want to, and receiving enough support to have a living from it.
That has been my dream for as long as I've been on the internet.
And I feel like my guides are pushing me more in that direction.
All of my ideas are only 30 - 90% complete, depending on the idea.
Music is more in the conceptual stage, songs are scattered, etc.
So like...nothing is QUITE up to the standard of truly being good enough to really be spread to a larger audience.
But I have always felt that I could make my content be seen by the world, my ideas be seen by the world, and that it would largely be free, but that I could still get money from people. If not getting enough money, then the answer would be expanding into more areas to reach more people, rather than further gating my content and raising prices, putting things previously free behind a paywall, etc.
I know that the road I want to walk is a difficult one, in this day and age.
There's been a collapse in the advertisement industry. Sponsors are becoming more exploitative and less willing to shill out to struggling content creators. And in this day and age, everyone is posting content online so everyone is a content creator to at least some extent. Why would I be seen and liked by enough people to make a living from it? Of course I wouldn't. I'm getting on the boat way way too late. If I were to have gotten in early, ten years ago, my odds would've been much higher. But I didn't.
And nowadays...you need a lot of luck, you need a lot of time, effort, and talent, to stand out. To become seen. To become known. To have the algorithm spread you, and to have word of mouth spread further beyond the algorithm. To have that level of engagement and virality, but then to have enough of it form into support to support me.
I will never make it big enough to do this professionally. Writing, content creation, art, poetry, music, etc. I can't get that level of outreach (especially since I've been canceled at least temporarily), nor that level of monetary support.
...Buuuuuut...
...I DO think I can find at least SOME marginal support, for these things as a secondary form of income.
I'm not there yet. But I feel like I'm CLOSE to being there. SO VERY CLOSE.
Like...this is a dream job. That I feel like my guides are very strongly pushing me towards. They are very strongly giving me all of the pushes. They keep sending me dreams about it, memories about it, daydreams about it, advice in tarot and oracle cards about it, and life events in support of it. I literally am receiving a work schedule highly conductive to pursuing content creation.
And...getting cut out of the spaces I was cut out of...for all of the harm it caused to me...for how close it brought me to the brink of ending my life...is a mixed blessing, because by not spending my time and energy on those people, by not spending time and energy on the people who would cut me out and not reciprocate the love and support I was giving them, by not having the time spent on those who wouldn't give ME their time (if only to listen to what went on from my perspective)...
...That time can go to other areas, namely, content creation. Writing. Art. Poetry. Music. Videos. You get the idea.
My guides have been pushing me, stronger and stronger, to pursue that childhood dream...because I think it is what I am meant to be doing. Maybe not full-time! Maybe not as my main job! But as a part-time side-job, I feel like it's my true calling.
I feel like it's possible for me to have the balance I'm looking for. To have the stability of my current job;
To have the free time and energy to support my loved ones (particularly the friends who remain, who are the truest of my true friends for having stuck by me when I mosted needed them);
To have the free time and energy to pursue creating my dreams and making them reality.
I do need to raise the percentage on my things from 30 - 90% to 100%.
But, I feel like the work I am putting in now, as gradual, as spread out, as it may be...is all building up.
I am SO CLOSE to achieving my dreams.
I just need to keep at it, and to receive the love and support needed to kickstart the momentum to get me going.
And that will happen sooner rather than later.
Thank you for being on this journey with me. <3
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