A semisecret blog

Sorry, I just...

...have been in a low spot.

I've been depressed.

I've been feeling lonely. 

I've been feeling like I've wasted my time and life during my only free time.

I've felt like a failure of a friend, and even a failure of a fiancé. 

I'm doing nothing.

I'm not pulling my weight.

I'm not spending my time on anything I want to do. 

Despite having the time to.

I know I could make the world such a better place if I were actually doing things.

But I'm not.

I know that I don’t need to do much.

Just show up and be myself.

But, I'm not even showing up and being myself.

I'm doing nothing but just, waste my potential.

I owe people better than what I have given them.

So, I just feel so...lonely, so isolated.

I have a world of people who love me.

But I can't love myself.

And right now, I feel like I'm even failing to display my love for others.

I love them.

I could never not.

But I am such a failure, they’re receiving none of the love from me they’re owed.

I'm sorry everyone for my shortcomings.

I just suck.