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Writer's pictureBrianna Lewis

Well, there's good news and there's bad.

The good news is, I'm feeling better than I have been.


I think I'm recovering from the severe bipolar week.

And I do mean literally bipolar week. When most people use that term they usually mean it as some form of joke or a descriptor of a rollercoaster week which is ups and downs.


But no, I mean quite literally, bipolar week, in that my bipolar disorder has been out of control. I started the week basically tossing 1k away through various purchases. A good deal was to charity; I can't really be upset. Some was to support a friend. Also not a bad thing. Yet when I was recently in a car crash, dealing with the financial expenses there and I had already spent on an impulse spending spree $400 of clothes...not great to spend more, even for a good cause.


And then the severe depression hit. A pain so severe it was physical. It wasn't thoughts. Thoughts I could counter.

When there's depressive thoughts, I can reason my way out of them.

When there's events going on in life triggering a bad mindset, I can address it.


When it's a feeling of intense overwhelming all-consuming sadness, all I could do was fight to keep my life.


And...I think I'm stabilizing, for both extremes, back to the more healthy middle.


​The bad news is, I'm still out of time. I work tomorrow. I work on the holiday on Monday. I don't have the time to do anything I should be doing.


I've not showered.

I've not brushed my teeth.

I've not changed my clothes.

I've only barely done mafia, torn, kongregate dailies, league/tft stuff, discord, and staying on top of emails.


But so much I need to do, I haven't.


I've a training due before the end of the month--haven't done it.

I've GOT to pursue getting the passport--haven't done it.

I've gotta check on my health insurance--haven't done it.


That's just the list of real life things which have deadlines that I can remember off the top of my head. There's more.


And I'm not really doing any of them.

I ran out of time.


So like.


I'm staying afloat, but if I don't keep in mind the things I haven't done which are important to get done, I'll collapse again.


I survived.


Now I gotta get back into doing things.

Heck, I've been gone from ComicFury for nearly a month now.

And I haven't done any of the writing I've wanted. (I've done some behind-the-scenes stuff, but barely any.)


​There's so much in life I want to live--I just need to live it.

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