Probably not going to do a real blog for a bit.

I want to make a real blog in the 20th - 23rd range (you'll see why), so you can look forward to that, but largely, I'm too busy/tired to do much of much.

I got roles working on discord, and twitch stream went well. I can't do much rn, but I'm planning on potentially doing a blog update stream where I idly work on getting my wix blog up to date.  It'll need trigger warnings and a recognition I was in a bad mindstate and have grown and progressed and past me isn't current me. But, I still want to do it. (EDIT BEFORE POSTING: ...well maybe next time, cards demanded novelwriting. Very strongly.)

I got some really good tarot readings today, basically saying I deserve to be forgiven. I deserve self-love. I deserve to love myself, and be loved by others. I need to be careful not to overextend myself and burn out by taking on too many things at once, and I will only be able to love so many at once, but I am beautiful. I have grown, and those who are or have entered my life see me and love me as I am. I am doing good work and going on a good journey.

I wish I could retain specifics from readings better, particularly ones that are as loving and detailed and long and thorough as this one was. But basically, it paired well with the prior thorough reading I got. I need to approach from love, and let go of trying to fix things. I may not know how to speak from a place of love, but I will learn. I will keep trying, and eventually my guides believe I'll succeed, in approaching from love and expressing things through it.

I am trying my best.

And I am trying to spread self-love.

On that note, I had a mantra to help get me get through the morning.

My negative emotions are born from pain, and I can wash it away by embracing the love underneath.

To explain that, 

My conscious self has nothing but endless love to give, but my shadow self has negative intrusive feelings and thoughts which despite my best efforts have plagued me.

These negative emotions are born from deep pain in me.

By recognizing that the negativity originates from pain, I gain some power.

And by recognizing that the pain is born from the same love my conscious self has, that underneath the pain is more love, I can master my pain by embracing that love.

It seems to be working now for me, so if any here need it, I’m giving it to everyone. 

Love may cause a great many wounds, but it can heal those very same wounds. 💖

You can do it. I Breelieve in you.