I wanted to do a lot today...

...and only a fraction of it got done.

I wanted to make a followthrough blog to my blog about what happened last year, talking about the three worst things I could've done last year and how ironically, despite them being the worst possible things I could have done (and I tried my hardest to do none of them), it turns out there was validity behind them, in hindsight. Explaining this needs a blog proper, which I wanted to actually do yesterday, but I forgot until I crashed yesterday and today, I just have no energy for it.

I wanted to enjoy the Yuletide witch market, but I could tell kels wasn't enjoying it.

I wanted to get a lot of the apartment done, but I couldn't tackle the biggest area of the mess. I ran out of energy.

I wanted to work more on my novel, but that didn't happen.

I wanted to record TikTok and Instagram videos; neither happened.

I wanted to tackle more work on the illegal charges, but did neither.

I'm not progressing on any of the time-sensitive things I need to be.

And I feel pretty drained.

To be fair.

kels and I have been surviving on a single pack of Ritz per day. As our only meal. Shared between us. Yes, one or two cylinders, split between us, with no other food. At all. Whatsoever.

And I'm still sick.

And I did get a lot of cleaning done.

So like...I did have reason to get drained.

But...I still feel like I'm not doing enough quickly enough. While I'm not doing nothing, I don't feel like I'm doing enough quickly enough to handle life going forward.

I can't sustain this indefinitely. Things need to change. And for that...I need to step up.

I just am struggling to right now.